Those sharp words pierced Stella’s ears. She felt like screaming to defend herself, to say that she had sacrificed her youth, her smooth skin, and her energy to support Gab’s career until he succeeded. that she didn’t take care of herself, not out of laziness, but because she saved the household money to buy Gabe expensive shoes so he wouldn’t be embarrassed when meeting clients. But Stella chose to remain silent. Her tongue was paralyzed. She just quickened her pace, leaving the group of neighbors who were watching her with contempt.
The walk to the bus stop was quite long, about half a mile from her neighborhood. Stella walked along the dusty sidewalk. Private cars zipped past her. The luxury cars that passed reminded her of the car Gabe used to drive. Before, Stella would sit in the passenger seat, listening to Gabe talk about the cases he’d won. Now, she was just a pedestrian, marginalized by the sun’s heat and the roads dust.
The heat and dust started to make cold sweat drip down her temples. However, the fear in Stella’s chest was far more unsettling than the weather. The image of the cold, formal courtroom haunted her. She imagined Gabe sitting there in his expensive suit, accompanied by his well-spoken lawyer colleagues, ready to tear Stella’s dignity to shreds with legal arguments she didn’t understand. “What if I say the wrong thing?” Stella thought anxiously. “What if the judge believes all of Gab’s lies? What if they really throw me out without a penny? Where will I live then?”
That fear was like a monster slowly devouring her courage. Stella clutched the strap of her bag tightly. She felt so small, like an aunt about to face an elephant. Gabe had everything, money, status, legal knowledge, and connections. While Stella only had her honesty and the remnants of faith that God doesn’t sleep.
Upon reaching the bus stop, Stella sat on the metal bench that was already starting to rust. She waited for the city bus headed for the Cook County Courthouse. around her. People were busy with their own lives, some glued to their phones, some lost in thought, some sleeping off the exhaustion of a night shift. In the midst of that crowd, Stella felt utterly alone. There was no hand to hold for strength. There was no shoulder to lean on.
A gleaming black sedan drove slowly past the bus stop. Its windows were tinted, but Stella recognized the license plate. It was Gab’s car. Stella’s heart seemed to stop. Music. The car glided smoothly, weaving through traffic with arrogance, while Stella still had to wait for the old late bus. The difference in their fates was starkly displayed before her eyes. Gabe was moving forward in comfort music. While Stella had to struggle just to get to the place where her destiny would be decided.
Dear God, Stella prayed in her heart, her tearary eyes staring at the asphalt. If this separation is the best path, then strengthen my heart. Don’t let me break down in the face of Gab’s arrogance. Give me just one sign of your help today so I don’t feel so alone.
Not long after, the city bus she was waiting for finally appeared around the corner. Black smoke billowed from its exhaust pipe. The bus was completely packed. The driver shouted for passengers. Stella took a deep breath, strengthening her legs to stand up. She prepared to squeeze in, bracing herself for an uncomfortable journey, as uncomfortable as the life journey she was currently on.
Stella boarded the bus, unaware that her prayer from moments ago was about to be answered in the most unexpected way inside that crowded public vehicle. The atmosphere inside the city bus was suffocating. The air was a mix of passengers sweat, stale cigarette smoke clinging to clothes, and road dust coming in through the open windows. Stella stood squeezed between a man carrying a large sack and a group of loud students. Her legs were beginning to ache from having to keep her balance every time the bus accelerated or break sharply.
The driver seemed to be chasing a daily quota, recklessly maneuvering the old vehicle without any regard for the passenger’s comfort. Stella tried to close her eyes for a moment, attempting to calm the turmoil in her chest, but the blaring horns forced her to stay awake. In front of her, the row of priority seats was full. Ironically, those seats were occupied by young people engrossed in their phones, pretending to sleep or wearing headphones, as if closing their eyes and hearts to the world around them.
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